Simply pushing harder within the old boundaries will not do. Karl Weick
I have been up against my own struggles of feeling like I’m not moving fast enough. I have felt frustrated by my own limiting mind. I read this quote and it just clicked. I am at the place in my life where I am feeling the old and the new colliding. I am not who I used to be yet I seem awfully familiar. Does that make sense?
It’s a new year and I see some habits that I have redirected and see some that just don’t want to give up on me. In this moment I feel like I’m pushing harder on old boundaries. Where did my energy go? I feel like I am questioning everything. Is it because I am getting closer, closer to being more myself? It is said that the closer you get to change the more the ego flares up to distract you. Well I feel like that is exactly where I am.
Today I am grateful for the meditation class that I am starting this morning.
Thank you for that. There are times when I read this blog and the things it points to pass over or around me. Today of all days it has hit me straight in the heart. I too have been struggling with my past and trying to break out of old patterns. The things around me these past few days have challenged everything that I have set out to change. You are so right that the ego flares up and distracts you. My ego is so desperate that it is resorting to using anger and resentment to keep me in the past. I have done things I am not proud of and I have said things that may have a drop of truth in them, but the things I have said where to push away the people that are really most precious to me and who are an example of the struggle to change and the worth that change will bring to my life. I am sorry for not seeing that the anger is coming from the painbody that does not want to let go. I am greatful for the realization of this. I am blessed to have people in my life who won't give up on me. I want them to know I am deeply sorry for the hurt that I have caused. Thank you so much for all you do and what you represent. Enjoy the peace of the meditation.
ReplyDelete