taking responsibility

Tell everyone you know: "My happiness depends on me, so you're off the

hook." And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they're doing.

Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel—and then, you'll love them all. Because the only reason you don't love them, is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good.

Abraham Hicks

I'm going to take my own advice right now and just start writing and see where I end up.  It's amazing how much I have struggled with writing.  I have been so critical of myself and I let that stop me.  Writing has always been an outlet for me to see where I am and to work out whats going in my head.  Ive had a growing spurt.  Ive experienced a very difficult loss.  My bubby boy, Boscoe who's been with me for the last 14 years was put down a few weeks ago.  He was the glue for me that kept me balanced.  It's amazing how much I am learning about myself just experiencing the loss of him.  I became a better person having raised him. 

So here I am, in school full time, letting go of my computer business and ready to embrace this next chapter.  I see myself writing more.  I see myself coaching people to find their passion.  It lights me up to think about it.  That's what I'm passionate about, helping you find your passion.  

It's so easy to get caught up.  It's so easy to forget.  We don't need to struggle.  We don't need to find fault in everything and everyone and most of all we can stop making ourselves wrong for not being where we think we should be.  We are exactly where we are supposed to be.  We don't need to figure anything out.  Freedom happens the moment I can release the expectations that I have on myself.

Today I am grateful for the ability to start again.  We can all begin again.  Today, begin again, don't look back.  Start with what you have and with where you are. 

comfortable in the uncomfortable

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.
Tony Robbins

I can stay focused on the fact that I haven’t written in over a month or I can focus on writing now. I choose the latter. I have to say that my life has completely changed from when I started writing this blog a year ago. I went from having some ideas of a direction I wanted to take my life and now I have that down to the degree in which to do that. It feels good. I feel more attuned to myself, more present to this life that I am creating.
It doesn’t mean I haven’t been challenged. I am challenged every time I facilitate a ropes course. I am challenged by my own ability to do it “right” and more importantly questioning if I am doing the “right” thing. My ego goes nuts. So the enlightened part of me knows this is a good thing. Challenging yourself and what you think your limits are is a good thing. It’s easy to live within your boundaries. For some that’s physical boundaries and for some that’s emotional boundaries. I am getting more comfortable with being uncomfortable. I know that if I am going to be someone who really makes a difference in peoples’ lives then there can’t be any stone left unturned.

I made a decision to do what I love; to support people in having a life that they love. It brings me such joy to help someone recognize their gift to the world. It absolutely lights me up to watch someone realize that they can choose happiness. I am committed to this path and I am seeing where my flexibility in getting there makes all the difference. I say this because I think it’s important to ask yourself what you’re committed to. What do you want for your life and what do you want in your life? You can have it. Whatever it is, you can have it, you just have to be willing to walk the path and be flexible with how things show up and willing to keep going anyway.

Today, ask yourself what are you are committed to? And then ask yourself, how committed are you? Are you willing to do what’s necessary? Are you willing to be uncomfortable so that you can stretch beyond your comfort zone?

Today I am grateful that I can write. Today I am grateful for an abundant life where I get to go back to school, work with people on challenge courses and take coaching workshops.

this is it

"Don't let a mad world tell you that success is anything other than a successful present moment."
Eckhart Tolle

The world tells us a lot of things that will lead us to a path of self destruction. This is why we must strengthen our center. There are so many distractions to keep us focused on getting something or acquiring more. “If I get that job or if I make this money or if she/he changes” There are so many things that we tell ourselves that keep us from the success of this present moment. We constantly live in the past or the future never touching down in the present. We live as if life itself isn’t good enough, like this moment that you are living isn’t IT. That’s the humor of it. This is the only IT that you have right now and it will be followed by another IT. We place the significance on everything that happens around us and deem what is worthy versus what is to be tossed aside. We do it so quickly and maybe even recklessly. Stop the machine that is running you and take a deep breath.

Today, listen closely and pay attention to what’s happening in this present moment. Nothing else is as important as what’s happening right now. Give it the attention that you give your past and see what happens.

Today I am grateful that I feel like a participant in my own life. I feel like I’m making my own way and that feels empowering.

thoughts about thoughts

A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts but the attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.
I don’t let go of my thoughts- I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me.
Byron Katie

We have thousands and thousands of thoughts every day. They came in so fast that we often don’t even realize what’s happening. Our mood can change because of something that has entered our mind from left field and yet it becomes something that is real. We believe our thoughts and carry them as if they have some value.
What if a thought could just be a thought? It comes in and it goes out? It’s just information. Try it today and see if you can stay unattached from your thoughts.

Today I am grateful for a wonderful visit with my brother and his family.

loving what is

The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want. Byron Katie

This is from a book I am reading called Loving What Is. I am really enjoying it and most of all enjoying turning the page. I usually listen to audio books which I love but sometimes I think you just need to feel the paper. Anyway I realize that I haven’t been writing much lately and I don’t want to beat myself up for that. I want to feel free to write. I am changing so much in my life and it feels great. I have made the decision to return to school in the Fall and I am slowly pulling away from computers. I am doing my work in Big Bear and will be getting my first Life Coach Certification in August. It feels great to say it all. I am excited to be right where I am. And so the question is- what changed? I want to be able to share my journey in a way that makes you think about yours. In asking yourself the right questions you can change your life. It’s not hard to do one thing. It’s hard when you look at the whole thing. How many times do you stand back and look at something you want to do like get your Masters or run a marathon or make any big change in your life and look so daunting that you say you can’t. We do that in life with conversations we are afraid to have and things we want to accomplish- they just look too big and feel too uncomfortable. Well I think if you’re too comfortable in life than you’re not growing and learning and tapping into all the gifts that you have to give. And please don’t mistake the words comfortable for enjoyable. Life is enjoyable and the greatest part of it is that we get to keep growing and keep learning more until the day we pass on. Being comfortable in a way that you don’t ever push past what is keeping you stuck will make you someone that is merely breathing. You have a voice and you have a gift and an abundance of possibilities all wrapped up in you. Don’t hold them in. Don’t waste your time in fear. You are good enough. You have what it takes, share it!

Today I am grateful for a day with family. I am grateful to be emotionally available.

Live now!

Do not wait; the time will never be "just right". Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. Napoleon Hill

It’s right now that matters. What are you doing right now? What are you putting on the back burner? What are you avoiding? What do you think you aren’t ready for? Where in your life do you think, “You’re not enough?”

How often do we use this moment to sabotage the next moment? We do it so mindlessly that we don’t realize and see how much time in life that we spend waiting, waiting to get all the ducks in a row. What a crazy saying, you’re never going to get all the ducks in a row, THEY ARE DUCKS! But we say it, I say it but at least when I hear myself say it now I know I’m full of it. I’m in some sort of fear. But if I say that I am getting it all together then that sounds like preparation and that always sounds good. Right? Sure we all know how to talk the talk and make ourselves sound better or more or whatever it is we want to portray but I’m talking about the conversation we have with ourselves. Where do you put your hopes,dreams and passions? Do you give them a voice? Or do you cut them at the knees?
You have everything you need right now to be everything you want to be. The idea that you need to acquire more is the ego keeping you in check and fear keeping you small. It’s a battle and I think we can win. Hear the voice of possibility and know that you have all the tools to start right now and you will acquire more as you go along. Don’t be afraid to live now. It’s all we’ve got. NOW
Today I am grateful for all my needs being met.

assumptions

Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” Don Miguel Ruiz

I took some unintentional time off from writing. So for any of you that assumed that something was wrong ;) no worries everything is good. I’m feeling excellent, well actually marvelous. I have a lot going on and I am excited about all of it. Yesterday I got to surf for the first time this year and it was everything and more than I remembered. When I’m out there on the water I feel more alive than ever. I see everything so clearly. I feel so much gratitude for my life and what it isand what it is becoming.

I am always honored that anyone reads this blog. I have so much to share and sometimes I have to figure out what that is before I can write it down. Today I want to share about the sweetness of life. It is very easy to make assumptions about everything and everyone around you but when you can truly embrace the idea of a new day and see someone with new eyes, you get the opportunity to begin again. Life is so beautiful when you have the freedom to live it. We are quick to assume what’s going to happen or how someone is going to be but it’s all based on our past experiences. We want to hold people to who they were yesterday. What if we can be here- now and make our decisions based on our current wants or dislikes? What if you can choose what you want because you choose it? Doesn’t that sound freeing? Freedom is where we want to get to. Freedom in this moment gives you the power to create the life that you really want.

Today, I am grateful for my loving and supportive friends and family.

accepting life as it is

"Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it."
— Eckhart Tolle

My life is changing and I feel like I am an observer and a participant at the same time. It's pretty cool and challenging. I have a tendency to put things in nice neat packages so that everything makes sense. I am at a constant place of trying to make everything ok. Lately I have been able to just let things fall as they may and refrain from defining and labeling everything. Its freeing and strange to change your habits. I am definately in a process and grateful for the awareness.

greener grass

The grass is always greener wherever you water it. Wayne Dyer
It’s easy to say the grass is always greener on the other side. It’s easy to look over there, wherever over there is and say that that is better. You are exactly where you want to be and if you want to argue that statement then do something about it. If you want to change then change but don’t blame your life on outside circumstances.
We like to sit back and complain about why things aren’t the way we want them. We like to blame anyone or anything on our circumstances. The problem with that is that it anchors you to your current state. If you want to guarantee that things won’t change then sit and complain about your life. Or you can use that time to do something about it. Get up and step outside of all the blame and claim your life, water your grass and create something in your life.
Today I am grateful for the peace I feel.

finding the courage

"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy."
~ Dale Carnegie
I’m back! Sorry I haven’t written in a few days. I had zip line training on Friday and I facilitated on Saturday. It really wore me out.
It’s very rewarding work to facilitate people walking through their fears. I am getting better at the technical aspect and more aware of the part I get to play. As I was watching one of the participants on the pole leap, I got to witness the moment at which someone overcomes fear. She was stuck at the top of the pole and needed to put one foot up and stand and she felt paralyzed. She held on and kept over thinking it. She wanted to give up. I talked her through it and suddenly there was the moment when she took the step and stood up with her legs trembling. She did it. She crossed over from “I can’t” to I’m going to just go for it. In that moment she found courage.
That moment is such a metaphor for so many things in our lives. When can sit and analyze something to death but nothing changes until the moment we take the step and do it anyway despite the fear that we feel. The key is to feel the fear and do it anyway. The fear is not a sign not to do something. The fear is telling you that you haven’t done it and that your cant. It’s your ego saying you don’t have what it takes. You can do anything you want badly enough, you just have to take that step. You have to trust that you have what it takes. Find the courage and the support to make it happen.
Today, I am grateful that I have the courage to go back to school.

self love

"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives" Louise Hay

If you can really love yourself first then everything that follows will be gentle and kind. We can be angry and bitter because we are unhappy with ourselves. We are our own worst critic and when we can lighten up and give ourselves a break then we can give the world a break.

Love yourself first today and see what follows.

Today I am grateful for the courage I feel.

gettin it done

Sometimes you just have to grind it out and get it done. That's what today is about. Get up and get into action. Yes you, get up and get into action. This is your life, stop waiting for someone else to do something about it. Stop waiting for a sign. This is your sign. This is wake up call. Today, do something about it. Stop complaining. Stop blaming everyone and everything around you.

Use your voice and declare it, say it,....speak your truth, go after what you want.

Today I am grateful that no matter what I always have that.

surge of energy

At some point you have to own up to how great you are, how beautiful you are, to how much inner dignity and potential you have. Drop complaining about what other people didn’t give you or do for you, or how they mistreated you. Take repossession of your Self and you will rise to a level of greatness that has been yours all along. - Michael Bernard Beckwith

So beautifully said…Today I am feeling a little stuck. I came across this quote and it just lifted me. This level of greatness that has been here all along is propelled by the recognition of who we really are. You are more than the complaining and the blaming. You are a gift to the world so stop hiding out. Stop waiting for something to happen. Claim it, declare it, be it!

I am grateful for the surge of energy that I feel right now.

todays gifts

Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing. Wayne Dyer

Happy Monday! I wanted to snap you out of auto pilot. I wanted to remind you that today is a new day. It’s not the continuation of yesterday or the beginning of a week. Today is its own day with its own blessings and adventures. Today is a gift. What are you going to do with this gift? Who are you going to be? Moment to moment you have a choice and that choice affects everything. Don’t waste this gift of today.

Today I am grateful for the sunny blue skies. 

what do you want?

You can never get enough of what you don't want. Wayne Dyer

Think about that today? Also think about what happens when you get what you want and it's not what you want anymore. Figuring out what you don't want is important but living a life in creating what you don't want would be dreadful. So the question is what do you want? And how do you know that what you want today is what you will want tomorrow? You don't. But I guarantee you that you will get closer to the truth of your desires as you get close to your center.
When you can be still and centered then you can ask yourself the question- what do I want? From this place you will get your answer. If you ask yourself that question when you are off kilter or moving fast through life you are bound to get an answer that will be gratifying for the moment. Do the work to get still and peace will follow.
Today I am grateful for new opportunities.

triggers

"Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you."
— Eckhart Tolle

This is a hard one to swallow especially when you really don’t like something about someone. It’s hard to even fathom that what you’re experiencing is something that you don’t like about yourself. All of our relationships give us an opportunity to grow either in strength or vulnerability. The question is- can you be open to the possibility that when you walk away from tough situations that you are walking away from digging deeper in your own life? Walking away from dysfunction takes courage but to really look at why you created the situation takes guts. Yes you created it. You create everything in your world and when you can own that and get the part that you play you will have more personal power.

What someone brings up in you is an opportunity for growth; the question is what do you do with it? I know what your ego wants to do, but what do you choose to do?

Today I am grateful for this peaceful moment.

clearing

Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing. Wayne Dyer

It’s amazing when I feel the power of that statement. What an amazing life it is to be in freedom. When you can live without attachments and have the space to experience life as it comes, then you can experience life in present.

Don’t take the ability to be right where you are as something that should be taken for granted. It is a power greater than anything else. If you can be right here and attach no meaning to the events around you then you can have the power to create a life that you love. The pull is strong to live in reaction and fear so you have to be grounded and stay centered, knowing that who you are is unlimited potential with the ability to manifest anything you want. You have what it takes and so do I.

Today I am grateful for a clearer head.

keep moving

"Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance." Eckhart Tolle

Not much to say today. I’m tired. I feel rundown like I’m getting sick. It was such an emotional weekend. Cecilia is all moved out. I just want to be gentle with myself today.

I was going to send the blog just like that. But I decided to wait. I decided to meditate. I named this Abundant Aspirations for a reason. I want it to inspire you to aspire to live in your abundance and so I will continue to write. I know we have all been in these hard spots of change. The fear can be overwhelming and debilitating and we march on. Despite what life throws us or what we create in life rather, can you show up knowing who you are? I am asking myself this question. Can I keep moving toward my truth?

I do feel more and more myself. I feel free of expectations. When I sit in the Abundance of the love and support in my life, I can be nothing but grateful. I have so much.

moving through

Charles R. Swindoll : "We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."

I feel a little heavy today. Cecilia and I were sorting through our things last night. This isn’t easy. Everything is moving out on Sunday and its stirring up stuff for me. I’m so glad that we are on great terms and able to talk ourselves though this. I can tell her when I’m having a hard time and she can do the same and we can keep moving forward. This is one of those times that I can feel my sadness and excitement at the same time. I am able to recognize that I’m struggling with letting go but I know that something else is birthing inside me. We are both honoring ourselves and that’s pretty powerful. I am excited for both of us.

Today I am grateful for the peace I feel in the midst of sadness and the knowing that everything will be okay.

what is possible

Barbara De Angelis : "If you aren't good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you'll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren't even giving to yourself."

I had such an amazing experience last night. I was at agape and we had a guest speaker so I was already bummed that I wasn’t going to hear Rev Michael. Rev Barbara King took the stage and I was completely hit broadsided. I wasn’t expecting it and I think that was why it was so profound. I can’t really explain it other than the voice in my head was so loud judging and critiquing and then all of a sudden it was silent and I felt this amazing calm come over me. It was beautiful. I felt so peaceful.

It just brings to mind how often we have expectations or judgments rather, of how something will go and how often we miss out because we aren’t willing to try. It brings to mind the box again. We get comfortable in our box. We like to decorate it and call it home. And then we never want to leave it. Just remember that growth is on the outside of the box. Being in your comfort zone can be healing and revitalize you but it can also cause stagnation. Learn the balance and your life will blossom. You can have anything you want but you have to step outside and stretch and try new things and have the conversations that you’re afraid to have. If you do the things that scare you then all things become possible.

Today, I am grateful for the opportunities I have to stretch from who I thought I was to something even more than I thought possible.

clarity

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple: Know what you're doing. Love what you're doing. And believe in what you're doing.
O.A. Battista

I feel like I’m floating, like I’m not touching the ground. I’ve been feeling this way ever since my training. When I say that- I don’t mean floating like on cloud 9, I mean more like I don’t feel the heaviness of life. It’s funny because I want question it like, where’s that heavy feeling I sure miss it. I don’t miss it. I like that I feel free. I like that I don’t feel burdened. I guess for the first time in a long time I am heading in a direction that I feel great about. I am seeing the possibilities.

I feel like Cecilia and I have made some major breakthroughs in our communication. She is moving out this weekend and it feels scary but at the same time we are moving through it and committed to our relationship in whatever form it takes. It’s interesting how a week ago we were in so much discomfort, the air was thick and we both wanted to avoid each other, but we kept talking and found common ground. It just makes you think, how often do you give up when something feels tough? It’s easy to say you broke up, move on, but the reality is this is a person I love, why else would we have chosen to be with each other. There’s so much here to learn by. We want to learn and we want to let go of all the things that hold us back in life. We are equally committed to this. So I guess the question for you is- Do you have relationships in your life that you are avoiding? Do you walk away because it’s easier? It’s easy to walk away from tough conversations but you don’t get the breakthroughs. You grow when you stretch; you grow when you walk through the discomfort.

I think I feel light because I feel clear. I still don’t have all the answers but I have honesty and I have direction and that feels like a million bucks.

Today I am grateful for being right where I am.

attitude is a choice

"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."

What are you choosing today? Are you living in a pity pot? Are you trying to convince the world how bad you have it? Or do you see the correlation between your attitude about life and how life shows up? We can’t control how life plays out but we can choose to see it all as perfect. It’s perfectly imperfect and the more you are flexible about it the more you will enjoy it.

Today I am grateful for the mountain air that has now become part of my life.

choose peace

We don't see the things the way they are. We see things the way WE are.

Anais Nin

It’s Monday morning and I’m starting to feel normalized. It was quite a weekend. My emotions were all over the place starting with a visit to see Norma in the hospital on Friday. She had a very large kidney stone and they had to go in a do a procedure which they tried to avoid because of her age. It took a lot out of her and now I don’t know how much longer she will have with us. I had no idea and was taken by surprise when I saw her. It was very emotional and challenging. I then had to wake up at 4 am to head to Big Bear for my first shadowing as a facilitator. I was so nervous, worried that I would forget something. We worked with a group of 30 kids, all who have lost a parent. We were there to provide some challenges and most all for them to have fun. It was a success and felt great to be a part of.

I am starting to see maybe how this new endeavor will link in with coaching. I am starting to connect the dots. I feel like it’s starting to all make sense.
I am also realizing how much I have been living outside of my comfort zone. It’s natural to want to be comfortable and to do things that make you feel comfortable. But when you don’t step outside that comfort zone you don’t stretch. You have the most growth when you are uncomfortable. When you have a conversation that you are afraid to have or you do something you have never done before it heightens your awareness and makes you build new muscle. When I belay people on the high ropes course, I get to help them overcome something. They are completely out of their comfort zone and are challenged to go beyond what they thought possible. It’s amazing to facilitate and at the same time it challenges my ability.

I feel great which is sort of funny to say with so much going on around me. It just goes to show you that circumstances do not have to define you. I feel like I’m doing it. I’m walking the path I want to walk and as scary as it can be I feel empowered that I chose it.
I am so grateful for Agape.

strength

Either you run the day or the day runs you.
- Jim

I need to go and run my day so I’m just going to leave you with that quote and of course a gratitude.
Today I am grateful for the chance to facilitate the ropes course for children who have experienced loss. I am honored to have been chosen. I am grateful to have an amazing support group to help me through my fears.

being vulnerable

Awareness is the greatest agent for change. Eckhart Tolle

If I’m going to write then I have to say it all, right? I can’t hold back simply because I’m concerned of how I will be perceived or how it will be taken.
I’m challenged right now. My ego is up in arms. The energy in the house is askew. And I’m still committed to the process of loving this relationship all the way through to its next evolution. It’s hard to stay centered in the midst of such change but I believe I can do it. She is moving out on the first and I want to available to this process. I believe that our love and commitment to one another can move us thru this transition in a way that helps us grow.

I just stepped aside from my blog to ask about the heaviness in the air. It was so uncomfortable. She spoke and then I spoke and we were both stuck. There’s that moment in a conversation when you just want to run from it and well I felt that every few minutes. You might be asking why would I put myself through that? We broke up so why engage in these conversations. I think these conversations are the key to my growth. It’s easy to walk away. I love this woman and I spent more than three years of my life with her. We trigger each other and we want to break through that. Who I am today is a different person because of this relationship. I have gained so much and have had to break through a lot of my own fears. I am so grateful for this process and to have a partner that’s willing to do it different. If you put your ego aside so much more will open up to you. Try it. Make today a day that you create with love and vulnerability to discover more about yourself. Let me know how it goes.

shift in perception

Peace of mind only happens in the unknown. Rhonda Britten

I heard Rhonda say this the other night and it really stuck with me. If you think about it, you can’t have peace of mind when you’re stuck in what you know. When you are struggling with fear or uncertainty you are stuck in a story you have created. You have to break out of that to find peace. Peace comes from complete acceptance. When you accept everything as it is, right now, you can have your feelings whether they are sad or scared but have awareness that they are just feelings. They do not define you, they only define a state. So yes in the midst of despair you can be at peace. It might sound tricky but it’s just a shift in perception.

Something else Rhonda said stuck with me. She had a great analogy. Imagine that 1/3 of all people just loved you. They love you for who you are exactly right now without having to do anything. Now another 1/3 just don’t like you and they never will. The last third don’t really care, they are indifferent. Now most of us are trying so hard to perform and be accepted by that 2/3. We don’t even give attention to the 1/3. Why? Why do we try so hard to convince and why do we struggle so much with acceptance? We have this 1/3 that just wants the best for us. So what if you surrounded yourself with the 1/3 and gave back to the 1/3, how would that impact your life? I know some of you might immediately get upset that 1/3 doesn’t like you and I guess that’s the point. It’s just the way life is- to some you will be a superstar and to others maybe a nuisance. The question is can you be ok with that? Can you find relief that you don’t have to perform anymore? It gave me freedom when I heard that.

I just feel grateful for my new adventures. I am grateful that despite my fears that are so loud in my head, aren’t keeping me from moving forward.

opening up

"It is not what we get but who we become, what we contribute….that gives meaning to our lives." Anthony Robbins

I just spent four days with some truly amazing, generous and loving people. I am in awe of the experience and who we became as a group. It was an unlikely group of 15 who came together to be trained as facilitators. We climbed and jumped and laughed and belayed until we couldn’t belay anymore. It totally pulled me out of a daily grind that was concentrated on what was I doing with my life and put me solidly in a space of learning something so that I can contribute.

Its funny how we can get so focused on what we want out of life and lose focus on what we can contribute to life. I had been in a place of frustration about the life I had created. I kept thinking "how can I get from here to there?", while holding on tight to the box I was living in. I so needed this training. I needed to be challenged both mentally and physically. I needed to be outside of my comfort zone. I needed to sit in my own judgment and come to a place where I get to see my contribution and know that what I do really can make a difference.

I am creating my own way and getting so many great tools. I feel really blessed. It inspires me to think that these 15 people could be in a space together for 4 days and find so much commonality. It would have been easy to find what made us different and find things to separate us, but those things never came up. What we created was magical. We all want to make a difference on this planet and that is what we focused on.

I am so grateful for this blog to be able to share my experiences. We all want to live a harmonious existence. We all want to feel peace and I think we can all have it. It just takes letting go and opening up to the idea that who you are makes a difference. If you hold on to that and focus on being a contributor then life will get that much sweeter. So to anyone from Lodestone reading this, I am truly grateful to you and what you brought to the group. I am inspired and excited to work with you… squirrel…;)

Peace and blessings!

Taking the leap...

Mornin everybody! Just woke up from my first night at camp. ;). The first day went well except for my body giving out on me. I feel like its breaking down and I have to build it back up.

The car ride up was great. I met two wonderful people and by the time we arrived we had already bonded. So yes my comfort zone would have gotten me here alone and "safe", but I would have missed the chance to connect. Yesterday was a lot about comfort zone and growth zone. I jumped off the high platform and reached for the trapeze. We had to declare what we were leaving behind and what we are reaching for. I left behind my fear of not being good enough and jumped towards my career of writing and coaching. It was a pretty great moment. We've done some great stuff. Lots of team building. My judgments are at a minimum. I'm open to receive and be a part something and see where that leads me.

What are you trying? Can you leave your comfort zone?

Today I am grateful that I got some sleep and that I woke up in this beautiful place. The sun shining and snow is everywhere.

new adventures

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
Theodore H. White

Breaking free from what is expected of you and acting on your own intuition-- now that’s living. But why don’t we do it? Why do we get stuck? How many people do you know that are doing what they love? How many people step outside the dominant thinking? It’s hard. It’s so much easier to fall in line and do what everyone else is doing. You don’t have to be challenged and you experience only small amounts of fear.

I feel challenged right now. I feel nervous and excited. I’m embarking on something new and I don’t know the outcome. And now I just agreed to carpool with two people that I don’t know. Me in my comfort zone doesn’t want that at all. I want to be in control and ride up by myself and listen to my music. But the part of me that is in this for the experience, knows better. Step outside what is comfortable and embrace a new experience. How many times do you say no to something because it is outside of your comfort zone? Break free from who you were yesterday. Today is a new day and you can be anyone you want to be.

Today I am grateful for my new adventure.

feeling vibrant

“If you are living out of a sense of obligation you are slave.” Wayne Dyer

I’m leaving Thursday morning for my ropes course facilitator training. I feel like I’m going to camp. I’m excited to be doing something so different than what I have been doing. I’m excited to be stretching and I’m nervous to leave my comfort zone. I know I’m on the right track. Every time I have felt this in my life it was followed by a major breakthrough.

I share this because leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy and sometimes it’s just what we need to shake up what is stagnant in our lives. It’s hard to know what you really want in life when you’re living inside of a box. If you are living out of some sense of obligation to whomever or whatever then you are not living your life. It is powerful when you can choose your life and everything in it because you choose it. Sometimes you need to break up the hard edges of expectation and routine. Its like when you get a really great massage and it might cause you some pain in the moment because the really great massage is breaking apart that which is stagnant in your body. A great massage gives you more mobility and flexibility because it broke apart that which was stuck.

Sometimes you need to do this with your life. Sometimes you need to step outside of what is usual and find your vitality, find that which make you feel alive and vibrant. When you find that you find the essence of you really are. Everything else is a life you accepted as reality. Do not confuse the two. Today go out of your comfort zone. Find your joy and let’s work on living more of it. I’m in, are you?

Today I am grateful for opportunities in my life to be more of my authentic self.

in the stillness

Silence is the voice of the convinced. Loudness is the voice of those who want to convince themselves.
Dagobert Runes

This resonated with me. Maybe because I’m learning to be more and more still and see more truth when I stop trying to convince myself of something. I think about a loud argument where two people are just going at it, one trying to convince the other of their rightness and neither hearing a word. When you’re trying so hard it’s usually because you yourself are not convinced. There’s no space when it’s so loud, whether it’s loud in your head or loud by your voice.

I really think this is why finding your peaceful center can heal your life. When you can step back and stop trying to be right and start trying to make your life work, there’s a shift. This is your life after all and simply proving that you are right and someone else is wrong does not give you peace, it gives you momentary satisfaction. Soon you will need to find something else to make wrong. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s easy to find support to stay in it. You can always find someone to agree with you and buy into your story. You can always find someone to say that what he did was horrible or what she did was just wrong. If you want to get to a peaceful place in your life, than it can’t be about right or wrong. Our relationships are all a work in progress and no one escapes that. It takes two people to create it and two people to change it. It’s your choice of how you want to look at it.

Finding your stillness will give you strength. It will empower you to make better decisions and give you the courage you need to take responsibility for your life and everything that goes on in it.

Today I am grateful that all my needs are met.

authentic living

"Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living."
Eckhart Tolle

Are you living an inauthentic life? Are you busy worrying about what other people think? If you are focused on becoming something based on someone else's expectations then you are not living your life. Your life is yours alone. What is it that you want? If no one else is looking or expecting you to be something, what is it that you want to be? What would an authentic life look like? Think about that today.

Today I am grateful for the clarity I feel in my relationships. Communication is the key to freedom.

stop the noise and turn on the music

The more I learn and grow, the more I am assured that I don’t know anything.
The more I can let go of having the answers the more freedom I can access.
The more I can be available and flexible the more I can be of service.

When I can just be and have the freedom to be whatever I need to be in this moment ahhh I can breathe. I can be whatever I want. I feel free in this moment and that’s all that matters, this moment! Can you live moment to moment? Can you tap into your freedom to express yourself and be who you were born to be? Just in this moment? Don’t think about the next moment or tomorrow. Can you put some music on in this moment and feel it? Do it. Just be in the right now. Put everything down. Turn it up and allow yourself to be free.

I am grateful, so grateful for the music.

together

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great.
Mark Twain

Someone said to me that I really changed up the format yesterday. I was off the cuff, in stream of consciousness just expressing myself. This is me. Sometimes I am formatted and sometimes I just need to be a run on sentence. Sometimes I just have to express what is-- to get a place where I can figure out the whys and the why nots.

If something in here helps you then I feel honored to be of service. My life has always been a quest to uncover and challenge myself to be more authentic and vulnerable to what it is to be human. We are all in this together and if you choose to see it that way then you will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Whatever is going on in your life that is making you feel disconnected or alone is only in your mind? You are never alone and you can always find your connection to yourself but you have to be willing and open. I am here to remind you.
I am here to tell you that my life is shifting and there are many uncertainties AND despite any of it, I can find peace. I can express my sadness, I can talk about my resentments and my frustrations and at the end of it I can find peace. You can too. Life can be life AND you can find your center. It doesn’t have to be either. It’s all simultaneous. Feel your pain and know that your joy is right there. Don’t limit how life can show up for you. Be honest with yourself, be honest with your partner, your friends and anyone else that you are withholding from. Know that in the sharing is freedom. If you are willing to give up being right for the cause of being a better human being then things will start to shift. This is your gig and how it plays out depends on your willingness to be your authentic self.

I myself, am a work in progress.

I am grateful for this day. I am grateful that I have so much love in my life and the forms are irrelevant. I am grateful for every one of you.

love and family

I'm on the plane flying back from Louisiana. It's the first moment that I could write. To say I was nonstop is an understatement. It was such a whirlwind of emotions. Being there feeling my breakup intensely, feeling the issues of my family, the confronting idea of a job that no longer serves me. There was so much going on and at the same time it was an amazing time with my family. When I am with all of my brothers and sisters at the same time it gives me such joy that I want to hold on to it tight and never let go. I always felt this and I especially remember when I was a kid, being the youngest and getting so excited when everyone was coming home for the holidays. I felt completeness. It's nice to know after all these years that I still get the same feeling. It's nice to have the connection.
Today was such a struggle for me. I was super emotional and felt like I was dealing with so many things coming at me. I felt angry, sad, resentful, and completely emotional. I know a lot was driven by pms but it was only bringing up all the things lying below the surface. I have a tendency to go and go and figure I will process it all later. The truth is I'm sad. My relationship of over 3 years is changing and I want it to not be painful. I want her stay in my life and I don't want to feel the separation. I don't want to feel the pain of her not being my person. I know that it’s these moments that make me a stronger person. I want to be present in all of it. I want to talk through it and share my pain. I know there is freedom when you meet something and walk thru it. Today my humanness wants to dodge the pain. My ego wants to have ownership and mind wants to rationalize everything. But my heart, my heart wants to find truth. My heart wants to feel complete in the incompleteness. I want to stay in the truth and the truth is that if I stay in the love and out of the ego then I can have freedom. I am my own experiment.

I’m grateful for my family and the time I had with them. I am grateful for Cecilia and that we can love each other through this. I am grateful that Jeff is sober and here with me.

what makes you go off center?

I have come to believe that there are only two kinds of experiences in life: those that stem from our Higher Self and those that have something to teach us. We recognize the first as pure joy and the latter as struggle. But they are both perfect. Each time we confront some intense difficulty, we know there is something we haven’t learned yet, and the universe is now giving us the opportunity to learn.
Susan Jeffers

Today I am getting on a plane to Louisiana. I’m going to see my whole family and extended family. It’s a Sibille family reunion. I’m looking forward to shifting gears and connecting with people I haven’t seen in years. I’m excited.

Yesterday was quite an up and down day. I was on the phone with customer service for a couple hours and I got to get experience some anger that I haven’t experienced in a long time. I felt like I wasn’t being heard and I pretty much freaked. Obviously it wasn’t about Verizon. It tapped into something and when it did I was enraged. Does that happen to you? Do you have reactions to things that are way over scale for what happened? The next thing I did was think about anything else that doesn’t work in my life and then make that wrong. Within minutes I was so mad and everything was wrong. I haven’t done this in a while and I surely haven’t missed it. But I felt like I must write about it. I know I have something to learn and by sharing it maybe you will to. I was able to capture a moment where I was triggered by being put on hold and hung up on. I turned that into such anger for many things that my mind created so quickly that I couldn’t even keep up. Luckily I have a support system to pull me out so that by the time I got a ticket a little while later I actually was ok and didn’t explode.
Our minds are powerful and can’t take us on a ride that we don’t necessarily want to go on. This is why your center is so important. If you keep moving so fast then you might not know where your center is. Stop and find the peace within you. When you know what that’s like then these other places will not be where you want to hang out. You will get upset but how long are you going to stay that way? How many things and people are you going to make wrong in the process?

Today I am grateful that I am in a peaceful place.

i am not my fears

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. - Carol Burnett

At the end of the day in the quiet of being alone with yourself, with your thoughts, what is it your fear most? For me it is that I didn’t do enough. I don’t want to leave this earth feeling like I coulda shoulda. I fear that I don’t have what it takes. I fear that maybe I should have done more already. I fear that this ball of fire within me will burn out. There I said it.

I am here writing as a person who feels so empowered yet scared to death to really go there, scared to really do it. I sat in that room on Sunday and felt so many emotions but mostly my ball of fire that I don’t know what to do with. I write for me and I write for you. I write to tap into the part of me that has lived many lives and helped many people. I want to do more. I think this ropes course training will be an awesome and a great opportunity to explore the physical aspect of getting over fear. I feel that this experience will give me more insight and hopefully more courage.

My fear would like to just keep me inside of a box. It can be comfortable inside of a box but never ultimately fulfilling in a way that moves and inspires you. I guess you have to make a decision about the kind of life you want to lead. Because really it’s all up to you, no can do it for you. As much as you feel lost or sad or discontent it is nothing compared to the pain you will feel if you don’t do anything. Whatever reasons you have for reading this, whatever you are looking for know that it is already in you and you have the power to change your life. I will continue to write and continue to discover ways to talk about things that we all go through. Look at me I’m starting out again. I’m feeling the pain of separating from someone I love and starting over with me again. I just feel grateful that I have the support and love in my life that makes me realize that I will never be alone.

A New Day

If you have a chance to look back on your life, you’ve got to ask this question: “What difference have I made? Was my life just about what I wanted, or did I contribute and make a difference to others? Jerome Downes

Jerome was one of many great teachers in my life and yesterday I attended his celebration of life service. Many things came up for me and I hope that I can put into words the magnitude of my insights that I got yesterday. I will try and if nothing else it will be an interesting week of writing.

First I must acknowledge my lack of writing. I have been having some personal challenges which I found difficult to write about before working them out a bit. My girlfriend and I have decided to change the dynamics of our relationship. We love each other very much and want to stay committed to our friendship. It’s been hard to have this blog and write about my journey and truths when I couldn’t even talk about what I was feeling with my partner. Sometimes it’s just really hard to communicate. And that’s what makes us human. The thing is that we all have something that challenges us and we struggle and we contemplate on what is working and what isn’t. Sometimes we get stuck and don’t know how to make a move and sometimes we just need to stand still and see that everything is perfect just the way it is. My point is that life is anything but predictable or understandable in a way that you can coast on what you learned yesterday. There’s no coasting. You never have it in the bag either. We are unpredictable beings and the best thing you can do is to stay in communication. It’s like I say it and I know and I still struggle with it. I can only try to do better.

Time to get to work. Tomorrow I will share more about the celebration of life and my insights.

Today I am grateful for a new beginning. I am grateful for Cecilia and the wonderful human being that she is.

Can you stop blaming and complaining?

You could write a song about some kind of emotional problem you are having, but it would not be a good song, in my eyes, until it went through a period of sensitivity to a moment of clarity. Without that moment of clarity to contribute to the song, it's just complaining.
Joni Mitchell

What would life be like if you no longer blamed or complained? It’s so ingrained in us that most of the time you don’t even know you’re doing it.

Something happens and you immediately find someone or something to blame for the misfortune. And then after you are set on who or what to blame then you can start complaining about it. We do this many times a day. Sometimes it’s big complaints and they can last for years and sometimes it’s just seconds out of your day. I’m sure you have no idea what I am talking about.
Let me be more clear…complaining about what you have, what you don’t have, who took something away, the job you have, the job you don’t have, the relationship you are in, the car you drive….I could keep going, the point is that it’s all a waste of time. Complaining is like external worry. It serves no function other than stagnation. It keeps you in a funk and more important it keeps you stuck. You will never find clarity while complaining and blaming.
You might be thinking but what if I’m upset about something and I need to get it off my chest. Well then you need to vent. Venting is different. Venting is something you set up with someone else and you put a time on it. It’s important to have someone in your life that you can go to and say all the garbage that is in your head. This person needs to be clear that you are venting and you are not looking for support to blame and complain but just good ole venting. Get it out, and say it all and know that in 20 minutes you’re going to move on. If you need to vent again then do it again another day and have clarity on venting time versus complaining. It takes training. We tend to want to stay in ick. It takes work to step out of it.

So can you give complaining and blaming up? How about just for one day? No complaining or blaming for one whole day, can you do it? Let me know how it goes.

Today I am grateful for the water. I am grateful that I get to see the ocean every day.

peaceful present

Happiness consists not in having, but of being, not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with itself.
— Norman Vincent Peale

Being happy and peaceful has nothing to do with circumstances. I think we often confuse obtaining more and being more with being happy. We think if we get that great job, make more money, have a bigger place, meet our soul mate then we can have a life that we love. It’s always on the other side and around the next corner.

I have heard myself say many times, “When I get through this, then things will be better.” It’s always about the next thing. It always seems that happiness is in the future.

Happiness is a choice and you choose to be happy right now regardless of your circumstances. There have been people in prison who have learned to find peace and happiness within while there are many walking free in the streets living in their own prison. It really comes down to what’s going on inside you.
If you strip everything away, who are you? What are you about? The stuff and the distractions are just that. Can you just be? Can you stop putting your happiness in the future? Life is now!

Today I am grateful for this moment with my sweet pups enjoying all the love that they give.

you choose

We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same.
— Carlos Castaneda

We can worry all day long and that worry will never get us anywhere. It will just give us a day of anxiety and more time away from ourselves. Somewhere we learned that if we worry about something it will justify our existence or maybe make the thing we are worried about just go away.
How many times have you been stuck in worry? Worry many times keeps us stuck and out of action. If you start taking action than worry doesn’t really have anywhere to exist.

The work it takes to have a life you love is equal to the work it takes to stay stuck in life full worry, doubt and fear. Which life do you choose? You are choosing every single moment whether you do it knowingly or not. You are choosing to be happy or miserable. What do you choose?

Today, I am grateful for surroundings. I am grateful to live in such a beautiful state with more blue skies than I know what to do with. ;)

kinder to ourselves

Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves.
Don Miguel Ruiz

We judge ourselves so harshly. We make ourselves wrong and cause such pain that we think it’s the world causing our pain. The suffering in the world is nothing compared to what we cause ourselves. Why do we do this? Why are we so hard? We show ourselves no compassion. We think that we should know everything and make no mistakes. So when we do there is no tolerance.
And when we hear something like this, you want to deflect it right? Think about that today? Think about how peaceful your day would be if the voice narrating everything was kinder. Think about the difference in your life if you allowed yourself to make mistakes and learn from them rather than abuse yourself for “being so stupid or short sided.” What if you loosen the reigns on you then you can work on loosening the reigns on others.

Today I am grateful for another day to learn to be kinder to myself.

listen

Instead of asking "what do I want from life?," a more powerful question is, "what does life want from me?"
Eckhart Tolle

My writing has been scarce. I’m shifting and it’s hard to write about it while it’s happening. I’m having many realizations and I’m very aware of the past and very aware of the present. I’m waking up and it’s hard to write about something that is indescribable at the moment.

This question, what does life want from me—has been very prevalent on my mind. Within us all is desire and a purpose. It’s not about making anything happen. It’s about being available. The more you learn to stop fighting the current and make peace with what is happening now, the more clearly you will see. You will find your strength in acceptance. Your own evolution is dependent on you getting that. It’s not about the fight and it’s not about being right. It’s about feeling centered and at peace. If you have that then everything else will fall into line. You will be able available to hear what is next.

Today , I am grateful that I have a place to write and to whoever is listening I am grateful that you read and support this journey and I am grateful for your willingness on your own journey.

acceptance

If I could define enlightenment briefly I would say it is "the quiet acceptance of what is.". Wayne Dyer

Not really much more to say today than that. I just really really feel that and know that the more I can be still and accept the more peaceful that life becomes.

Today I grateful for the opportunity to be still.

change

“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.”
Barbara Johnson

I am struggling with my writing because I feel like I’m running in place and have nothing of value to share. Yes I see movement in my life but I also see change, change that I need to make. I have skipped a few days writing and I don’t want to get down on myself for that. I guess I am learning to have patience with myself. I have such big expectations for where I should be and yet here I am. I’m just going to put one foot in front of the other and keep sharing even when I feel like I don’t have much to say.
Today I am grateful that my motor is idling.

back to center

Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
John Maxwell

If you think about it, how many times do you tell a story over and over? Something happens and we need to relive a moment over and over, sometimes we tell that same story for years. A large part of our day is about reaction. It’s human nature right? That’s where we get good stories, sad stories and filler. We get the stories from our reactions to what has happened to us. It just puts things in perspective for me.

So much of our lives isn’t even about the moment. Can we change that? I think we can. But like anything we must first acknowledge the way it is. We have to first see that our reaction to something begins its own life that takes us away from the moment. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have reactions; I’m saying that our reactions shouldn’t own us. If we can get back to the moment, we are more effective and we can have more clarity. The moment provides us an opportunity to show up differently. The minute we choose to take something that has happened and react in a way that distracts us, we lose the opportunity to be present. Today do one thing at a time. Practice being in the present, no matter what happens, stay in the moment….moment to moment.

Today I am grateful for this new opportunity to work with people to help overcome their fears.

change and commitment

"We are addicted to being the way we are" Don Miguel Ruiz
Are you content with what you have and where you are? If you are then stop reading and just tell me what you’re grateful for and have a fabulous day.

If you’re like many of us struggling against what we have and trying to find something better, trying to manifest a better existence, then keep reading. We are addicted to being the way we are. When you complain about something over and over and yet you do the same things to keep creating it over and over, I would say that sound like addictive behavior. And I’m guilty of it. Change is hard especially when you resist doing the things that will cause change. For example you know that if you eat fast food all the time and don’t exercise, you will gain weight, feel like crap and probably not have a lot of energy. So you think, stop the behavior and things will change. Right? Well if you eat well then this is easy for you but you know there is something that you do and you know if you changed your behavior it would change your life. Why can’t we change? Why is it so hard? I think the first step is honesty. Whatever isn’t working in your life you have to first get honest about it.

I say let’s all take small steps together. Let’s set small goals and attain them. Anything can be done one step at a time. Our addictions can be overcome. It takes more than positive thinking to create change, it takes action and commitment. Let’s create change together. I’m here to support your growth and in turn it supports mine. For that I am grateful.

be still

"...relinquish, for a moment, your desire to explain and label..."
Eckhart Tolle

In other words be still, be quiet, listen more and give your opinion less. We live in a world of chatter. When something happens, it’s hard to be with the event because automatically comes in the defining the event, the replaying the event, the whys and the hows and the blah blah blah. We do this in our life and we see it everywhere we look. This is why we have accepted it.
In your life you have the “what is happening” and you have the “explanation of what is happening” I think we live in the explanation much more than the “what is.” If you could for a moment relinquish the explaining and the labeling what would that look like? What if you could live in this present moment, not in --what happened and not in --what is going to happen? Does it sound impossible? It’s not. It just means you have to give up the static in your life that you believe is real. All of the noise that you keep alive is a distraction. You are distracting yourself from being still. Can you be still? In this stillness is everything you are looking for. In this quiet is where I find my peace. I am so grateful for that, I am so grateful that no matter what, my peace is always right there in the moments that I let go and simply be still.

what world are you living in?

Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.
Wayne Dyer

I love that. I always say you find exactly what you are looking for. If you’re looking for things that are wrong and bad then you will for sure find exactly what you are looking for. Our perception and point of reference is everything. If you are angry and bitter than the world is going to appear angry and bitter.

Peace is a state of mind. From a peaceful state of mind you can experience a peaceful existence. Did the circumstances change…no they didn’t but you changed. When you can live in a loving place then the world will appear different. You can see clearer and make better choices.

Don’t wait for something to happen for you to be the person you know you can be. Don’t wait for circumstances to change. Start now.

Today I am grateful for this peaceful moment. My intention is to keep having them. ;)

today

To the ego, the present moment hardly exists. Only past and future are considered important. This total reversal of the truth accounts for the fact that in the ego mode the mind is so dysfunctional. It is always concerned with keeping the past alive, because without it - who are you?
Eckhart Tolle

Yes. who are you if you aren’t your past? If all of those stories you tell over and over aren’t you then why do we tell them? Some stories we tell because they are funny, some we tell because they are tragic, and some we tell because we don’t know what else to talk about in the now moment. Why wouldn’t you talk about your past? How else would someone get to know you? Maybe we have been trained to believe that. Maybe by speaking in the present about who you are in this moment would be uncomfortable. Maybe declaring is harder to do than telling your stories about what you have done. More than anything it challenges your thinking and makes you aware that your ego only holds on to what was or what may be in the future. The ego keeps you distracted from the now moment, the only moment that counts.

So the question is- who are you? Speak from this moment and see what comes up. Notice your struggle to either go to the past or future to find the definition.

Today I am grateful for my new gig. I’m training to be a ropes course facilitator. More to come on that. ;)

expectations of others

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.
Wayne Dyer

I think it requires you to be alright with where you are to allow someone to be where they are without any expectations of what they should be doing. People are not put in our lives to satisfy us. We are the only ones that can satisfy us. I think we often forget this. We look outside of ourselves for people to please up and do as we think they should. Yea there are a lot of “shoulds” here.

I think you will find a much more peaceful existence when you can let go of your expectations. It’s not easy and definitely takes a lot of practice. If you think about it, how could you ever be happy if you are waiting for people to do and be what you need them to be? Isn’t it hard enough to get yourself to do what you need to do? If you want peace in your life than you must first accept everything as it is and everyone as they are. Yes just like they are right now. You can’t have any buts, I mean exactly as they are right now. It’s tough right because you think well if they just did this if or if they were able to….STOP right there. That’s the part of you that is never going to let you rest, never going to accept life as it is. We all have it. It’s being able to recognize it and make peace with it and hopefully let it go.

This isn’t easy but you are willing then loving someone right where they are will get easier. Today, I am grateful for my family.

the power of acceptance

"Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it." Eckhart Tolle

Look around you! You have chosen every part of your life. You have chosen who is in it, you have chosen what you to do for a living, you have chosen where you live and you have chosen every circumstance. How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel powerful? Does it make you feel frustrated?

You really can create anything you want, but you have to believe that. It’s easy to believe that things just happen to you and you have no control. You always have the power of acceptance. If you treat everything coming at you as part of the plan and work with it rather than against it, you life will change. Things will be apparent to you that maybe your limited thinking doesn’t always know what’s best. If we work with the flow rather than against it then you will see how everything happens exactly as it is supposed to. By not reacting and giving something space you get to see something differently. By accepting it, you accept you and from there anything is possible.

Today, I am grateful that everything always works out.
.

one step

It's not what you do once in a while, it's what you do day in and day out that makes the difference.
Jenny Craig

It might take me many many hours to walk from Los Angeles to San Francisco, but one step at a time I can get there. We can accomplish big things, one step at a time. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and feel defeated but if every day you can take one step towards your goal then you will get there. It will happen. The key is you can’t stop. It’s the day to day that can mess us up. We get clouded and we forget where we are headed. We get sucked into drama and stopped by our fears.

The difference between you and someone who did it, whatever it is……they took the step, they committed and they never gave up. That’s the only difference. You have what it takes and I have what it takes. So let’s not give up, let’s take a step and move in direction of the thing we once thought unattainable. It is yours to have. So everyday make that your first thought. See what it is you are walking towards and know that you are moving closer every day.

Today I am grateful for the book I am reading and I am grateful for the steps I am taking every day.

finding your peace

Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life
around it. Brian Tracy

Peace is the thing I strive for most in my life. It’s a word that has so much meaning, for me at least. I am learning that putting peace first changes everything. If you make it your way of life to live in peace then you get to choose peace in the face of engaging in gossip, getting upset because someone cut you off or the many other ways we get set off.

If you want to be truly happy in your life then choose peace for yourself. If you’re at peace, then circumstances don’t matter. You can have inner joy because you feel the effects of just being. We think we need to get fixed. We think that if someone just tells us what to do that or how to do it that we will then be ok. The answer is not on the outside the answer is on the inside. If you can find that peaceful place within you, you will know the answer.

I am grateful for my peaceful place.

freedom

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there. Unknown author

I guess the topic of being uncomfortable in your life hit home for many. I think I will continue my thoughts on it.
So you’re in this place and it feels frustrating. You don’t know how to get out of it and you don’t know how to live in it. And here’s the thing, your old bag of tricks won’t work. Who you are today is not who you were yesterday. What worked five years ago is not going to be the thing that works today. The you of today is new, and this is your opportunity- right now to first realize that you get to have a life that works for you. You get to have a life that you love. Whatever you have settled for, you have created. It takes courage to speak your truth. It takes courage to change. It’s easy to just keep talking about it and never make a move.
What do you want for your life? Are you willing to get honest and take responsibility? There is so much freedom on the other side of this fear. The question is- what are you willing to do about it? Willingness is the key word. You have to be willing to look, willing to be wrong, willing to stretch. Think about what you really really want and let's get you there.

Today I am grateful for this peaceful moment and grateful for my brother being sober.

let it shine

Anything in life that we don't accept will simply make trouble for us until we make peace with it. Shakti Gawain

It’s easy to find yourself living in struggle and accept that. It’s easy to wake up after years and find yourself not at all where you want to be. It happens slowly, you accept something and don’t speak your truth and you do that over and over until you find yourself lost. Have you ever been there? Are you there now? This is what you have to remember, no matter what you are feeling in this moment, no matter how bad it seems, no matter what your circumstances are, you can get out of this place. You can reclaim your life. It is your life and that’s the first thing to get clear about. Get quiet and first accept exactly where you are. Look around you and accept that this is the life you created, no one else. Take responsibility for all of it and then take a step.
If you are reading this and its ringing true then know that I am writing it for you. It is my intention in life to support people to become more of who they really are. You were put on this earth to shine. Sometimes we dim our light and we forget who we really are. I am here to remind you. You are so much more than a dim light.

Today I am grateful for the bright lights around me.

gratitude

If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise. Robert Fritz

Today I am grateful, just grateful.

a new day

What we think or what we know or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. John Ruskin

It is our actions that define us. We can talk all we want and say what we believe but at the end of the day, what did you do? How did you treat people? What difference did you make?

I heard something really great yesterday about believing versus knowing. When you believe in something there is a need to have other people believe in it as well but when you know something, you just know it. And more importantly you don’t have to spend all your time convincing anyone of anything.

I think knowing who you are and being to express that is what we are striving for. At the end of the day it’s what you do about it. It’s about what you made happen. You can talk and talk and talk and that will never get you anywhere. It might get you through some things but action will make the biggest difference in your life.

Today I am grateful to begin again.

its within you

"I cannot tell you any spiritual truth that deep within you don't know already. All I can do is remind you of what you have forgotten" Eckhart Tolle

We go to great lengths to find the answers. We travel to far places, we read books, seek counseling, we look and look for the answers. And the truth is that we already have them. We already know what we should so but we look for someone outside of us to tell us, to validate us. I’m not saying we don’t need guidance or support. I’m saying we just need to be still more and be available and willing to listen to what is going on inside.
You know that if you want to look good and feel good then you need to eat better and do some form of exercise. You know if you want to be successful than you have to work at it. You have to be committed and diligent about what you’re doing.
We know all of these things yet we struggle. What is that? Why? Is it our environment? Are there just so many distractions that you can’t focus? Or are you looking for the easy way? I guess at any given time it could be any of these answers for me at least. It’s interesting when you write it out. It seems so simple.
So what if I was to say you have everything you need and you know everything you need to know to create a life you love, today! Not tomorrow, not when you get your ducks in a row but today. Did you immediately go to what you don’t have? You have all of the answers and you know what you need to do. Me too! So let’s do it!
Today I am grateful for my morning meditation.

acceptance

Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.
Eckhart Tolle

I named this blog Abundant Aspirations because I wanted it to have a feel of abundance and all that I and you aspire to be and yet sometimes the shoes feel too big to fill. Sometimes I just feel like I’m trying to get a boulder up a hill with one hand and slippery shoes. So on those days I feel like I don’t have anything to give. I feel like my writing is skewed. So I’m just calling myself out. I like to do that. It gives me room to breathe.

I’m feeling lighter today. I can easily get overwhelmed by everything I have yet do and more importantly yet to be. I get caught up my own expectations of how things “should” move along and where I “should” be. I have discovered even though I have almost eliminated the word “should” from my vocabulary it is still very present in my internal dialogue. I’m a work in progress, that’s for sure.

So today I am feeling my abundant aspirations and I am grateful to be a work in progress. I am grateful for the acceptance I can give myself when all seems so daunting.

Four Agreements

When you take things personally, you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something little, because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong. Miguel Ruiz

I dont have a whole lot to say. So I bring it back to basics and basics for me is the four Agreements. Today Im gonna listen and pay attention to my reactions, to what I am taking personally, and to my expectations. Today is about observing the part that I play and how much of what I am experiencing is reaction. Today I am grateful for the Four Agreements.

dreams and possibilities

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. Paul Valéry

Wake up and do something about your life. If you have time to complain then you have too much time. I notice that when things aren’t going well for me it’s because I’m sitting in what’s not possible. I am analyzing everything that doesn’t work. When I am in action and doing what I can with what’s in front of me, everything shifts.
I have learned the value of having an intention about my day. When you set out with an intention it gives you a direction and a purpose rather than a lofty goal. If you ask yourself, what is it that you want? You can create a long list. If I ask, what is your intention for today, you get stopped, right? What does it really mean to have an intention? I think without it there is no basis for what you say you want. Think about that today.
Today I am grateful for new possibilities.

unconscious ego

The ego isn't wrong; it's just unconscious.  When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it.  Don't take the ego too seriously.  When you detect egoic behavior in yourself, smile.  At times you may even laugh.  How could humanity have been taken in by this for so long?  Above all, know that the ego isn't personal.  It isn't who you are.  If you consider the ego to be your personal problem, that's just more ego.         Eckhart Tolle

It really helps me to identify the ego in my life.  It helps when I can identify this urge to want to hideout in life.  “The ego isn’t wrong, it’s just unconscious.”  I like that line.  It’s funny because I think when I realize I am acting out of my ego; I immediately make the ego wrong.  It’s like the ego is this bad thing inside me that’s trying to make me bad.  Interesting, I never really thought about that way until this moment.  I think you can make the same assumption about people in your life who you believe aren’t doing the right thing.  We make them bad when maybe unconscious is the appropriate word. 

We all have unconscious moments when we believe that life is out to get us or that something doesn’t feel fair.  The moment that we are separate from our source, whatever that source may be, we are letting the ego drive.  The ego wants tell you that you are alone and that the world is bad.  The ego wants to keep you safe but under the guise that safe is being in fear.  What do you think about that?  I am thinking about it myself.  It just came out of me.  I think the more we can identify fear in our life the more we can work through it, acknowledge it and let it pass. 

I am changing everyday trying to be better and live a more peaceful existence.  I guess it’s all about getting clear on what “better” is.  The question to ask, what is my intention for my life, what is the intention for your life?  The better our questions get the more we are in tune with what we want out of life.  If you don’t have time to ask the questions and the patience to be still then I guess the bigger question is, Why do expect anything to change?

Today I am grateful for the resources in my life that continually challenge me and ask the tough questions.

being thankful for what you do have

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears”



Anthony Robbins


I tried this the other day. I was deep in fear about things working out the way I needed them to work out and suddenly I just started saying what I am grateful for. I started looking around the room and pointing out that I have a home and food, furniture, hot water, clothes to wear, and so on. I got very specific about the abundance of things that I have around me. We treat these things as if they are insignificant and trivial. I think we get so focused on what we don’t have that we don’t stop and appreciate what we do have. And I really believe that when you focus on lack you create more lack.


It all takes practice. Every day we are challenged to live in fear or to live in hope. In the moment that we choose fear and get tunnel vision we lose all hope. We get cynical and life becomes mundane. We don’t need to wait for a tragedy to wake up. Start looking around you right now and say what you are grateful for. Embrace your life as it is and be thankful for what you do have. Life will start to shift for you.


Today I am grateful for my healthy body, my eye sight, and all my limbs.

trust your hopes not your fears

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been.
Robert H. Schuller
Fear, it’s the thing that cripples us. We don’t even see it when it’s gripping us. We think this is life and I must endure. Fear is just the way our ego expresses itself. Our ego does not want us to leave the box that we live in. Our ego wants to contain us and keep us small. Our ego is the thing that tells us we can’t. It’s the thing that says we are bored or I don’t feel like it. We live in an epidemic of fear driven beings all around us. And at any given moment it is us. So how do we live in that? How do we rise out of the fear and trust something else, like our intuition or have hope?

This is where I believe it is crucial to surround yourself with people who support you. I also believe that watching the news is a way to stay in the fear. I don’t watch. I get CNN updates to my phone; they are one sentence and just give me the facts. You see you have to make a choice about what you want to enter into your space. You do have a choice. I choose also not to participate in conversations that are fear based. We are so susceptible to everything around us so when we can choose, we must. You have to protect yourself and take hold of your life. This is your life, only you are responsible for what you make of it.

Trust your hopes not your fears. This is an ongoing challenge which you will face for the rest of your life. Sometimes you will give in and get stuck in the fear and that’s ok. It’s all about how long it takes for you to remember again, who you are and what you are capable of. I am remembering again and for that I am grateful. There is something in you that is waiting to emerge, spread your wings and enjoy the flight! Peace and Blessings!

trust your intuition

Believe nothing. No matter where you read it, or who said it, even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. BUDDHA


Learn to trust your intuition….That’s what I hear when I read this. How often we adopt someone’s opinion as our own? How often do you hear something and pass it on like truth. What is truth? I guess is a better question? Words can have so much power over us because of the meaning we give them. This meaning affects us and causes us to react in ways that make us doubt who we really are. Truth is based on your perception.

My truth is that the more I stay centered and don’t get distracted by what other people say and believe, the more peaceful my life becomes. It takes a lot of practice to trust your intuition. It takes belief in oneself.

Today I am grateful for a more peaceful day.

releasing worry and guilt

Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done and worry about what might be done. Wayne Dyer



How much time do you spend obsessing about what might happen? How many times have you relieved a past event in your head, beating yourself up more and more as you replay it? I don’t know anything about either one of these emotions. OK maybe a little bit ;) When I read the quote I put it aside and was resistant about posting it. Maybe it was striking a cord with me and I didn’t want to look at it. When I am living in my worry I certainly don’t think there is another way through other than time. This one is tough for me and almost hard to write about because it is such a part of me. I know how to white knuckle through something knowing that I will come out the other end. I have accepted struggle as something that is natural. This is what I want to focus on.


I will give myself credit for being calmer and holding on to less but I am still in struggle when it comes to moments in my life where peace is not easily attainable. How do you have peace in the face of inner turmoil? I know I am getting to some good stuff. It feels messy which is hard for me because I like being able to define something and put it in a nice and tidy package. I am embracing this time and grateful for this moment to explore it.

turning the soil

"Circumstances do not make a man, they reveal him." Wayne Dyer


I have been a bit off schedule writing this week with being a bit sick and my birthday. My circumstances right now seem hard. I am struggling. It is hard to write. I can’t seem to articulate what’s going on for me. All I know is that I am aware that something is changing. I don’t know what I don’t know. I am open to the possibilities.

I am going to keep writing and see what comes up for me. My blogs may be short and they might not make a lot of sense but it’s what I got right now. I guess it’s a reminder to us all that the path you choose is not always sunshine and roses, sometimes it time to just turn the soil. It’s all necessary and all part of the journey. I am grateful to have a sense of something bigger in play. I am grateful to all of my friends and family for their sweet birthday wishes!

coming into the present

You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You can find yourself by coming into the present.
Eckhart Tolle

It has been difficult for me lately to be in the present. I have felt distracted like something was weighing me down. I am grateful for being able to come to Palm Springs for the weekend. Coming here is always an opportunity for me to slow down my head and take in all the beauty. I feel peaceful right now and that’s all that matters- is this present moment.

I’m actually feeling a little excited about my birthday, overjoyed that the Saints are going to the Super bowl and what that represents. I think I have my first coaching client, well that’s not family or friend ;) I feel good. How do you feel?

Are you here in the present? Stop and take a deep breath. Practice this often. Don’t get so carried away that you forget you. Getting back to center is the best gift you can give yourself.

Today I am grateful for my Palm Springs getaway and for Cecilia celebrating my birthday all week!

standing strong

A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.



–William Shedd

A ship is built to take on the seas, to travel far and accomplish many voyages. Here we have been given this body and this mind and what do we do with it? I know for myself that when I am so focused on what I am not, what I haven’t done, what I don’t have…I miss out on what I do have. I don’t see what’s around me. I miss the opportunity to be and do more.


I have been feeling the frustration of being in one spot wishing I was in another. I built a business that I should be proud of yet I can’t seem to grasp it because I am so busy seeing what I don’t have. I don’t have a coaching practice, I’m not working on my book, and I don’t have my B shirts designed. These are the things that light me up. Yet my focus is on my frustrations. 
Someone asked me yesterday, "What drives you?" Thats all it took.  It pulled me out of my head.  It put me into action.  It reminded me of who I am.

I think we set ourselves up when we stand here wanting to be there. It makes one powerless and frustrated. I share because I think in relating to others we see possibility. We see that we are all human, wanting to be better, wanting more. I truly am grateful for the business I have created. And I am grateful to have a passion to follow.


So I’m taking a step and offering coaching sessions to 2 people. I’m ready to get started, are you? Send me a message, let me know if you’re interested and we can work out the details. Send me an email at Ashley@bthechangelive.com. I’m really excited to start this next chapter. I am grateful for the opportunity to inspire you and support you to be the change in your life.

peace and blessings