i am not my fears

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. - Carol Burnett

At the end of the day in the quiet of being alone with yourself, with your thoughts, what is it your fear most? For me it is that I didn’t do enough. I don’t want to leave this earth feeling like I coulda shoulda. I fear that I don’t have what it takes. I fear that maybe I should have done more already. I fear that this ball of fire within me will burn out. There I said it.

I am here writing as a person who feels so empowered yet scared to death to really go there, scared to really do it. I sat in that room on Sunday and felt so many emotions but mostly my ball of fire that I don’t know what to do with. I write for me and I write for you. I write to tap into the part of me that has lived many lives and helped many people. I want to do more. I think this ropes course training will be an awesome and a great opportunity to explore the physical aspect of getting over fear. I feel that this experience will give me more insight and hopefully more courage.

My fear would like to just keep me inside of a box. It can be comfortable inside of a box but never ultimately fulfilling in a way that moves and inspires you. I guess you have to make a decision about the kind of life you want to lead. Because really it’s all up to you, no can do it for you. As much as you feel lost or sad or discontent it is nothing compared to the pain you will feel if you don’t do anything. Whatever reasons you have for reading this, whatever you are looking for know that it is already in you and you have the power to change your life. I will continue to write and continue to discover ways to talk about things that we all go through. Look at me I’m starting out again. I’m feeling the pain of separating from someone I love and starting over with me again. I just feel grateful that I have the support and love in my life that makes me realize that I will never be alone.