getting out of the shadow

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
I am just noticing that Wednesday's blog never posted.  Interesting....Mostly because I was in a sad place when I wrote it.  This is one of those weeks when I feel like I am doing some serious inner work.  Nothing major has happened in my life, nothing to feel sorry for myself or any anger to displace.  I'm just feeling a bit stuck.  The holidays is a big whirlwind for me and then bam its a new year and all the things that I said I want to be doing by the New Year get to be looked at and some are not happening yet.  I have to put yet in there.  I know I have to acknowledge myself for what I am doing but it sure is hard not to beat myself up for what Im not doing.  Can you relate?
 
Also this last week I spent some time with Marianne, my old boss.  That seems to stir me up a bit.  Its been 16 years since I worked for her and somehow it has become a measure for what I am to become.  I am so hard on myself, I know that.  I have these expectations that are huge and I don't want to lower them.  I say I want to write a book but I don't dedicate the time to write.  I dont feel free in my head to write.  I know I am rambling, sorry about that.  I feel like I have to purge.  It's time to take a step and I'm just not sure which one to take.  In sharing I will discover it.  I hope it encourages you to do the same.  I am not alone.  You are not alone. 
 
Today I am grateful for my friends.  I admire and respect you.  I feel so fortunate to have friends that are family to me. 

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