When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.
That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding.
We live in a society that accepts blame as a normal means of dealing with life. When something goes wrong we quickly look for the reason and who is to blame. We position ourselves so that it’s not our fault and then we carry on. This is the way that keeps you living in the world of right and wrong. I am right and you are wrong. This is where we position ourselves.
I think there is another way. It will challenge your way of thinking. If you didn’t need to be right and didn’t need to figure out who is wrong, what would that be like? What if you took personal responsibility? What if your integrity meant that you apologized for what is yours to own and honored what is yours to honor. It’s not about anyone else, it’s about you. Integrity means honoring who you really are. What if you become what you are meant to be? This is also being in integrity with yourself. You have gifts and talents that only you can express. If you are spending your time in blame then you are not honoring yourself. You are coping out. If this is your life and you alone are responsible for your life than what can you do with it?
Stop filling your head with things that don’t serve your life. Learn about what’s being done to make life better. If you focus on what is broken then that is all you will see, “a broken life”
I just had to get all of that out. That quote struck a chord in me. I see so clearly how this blaming society only cripples us. I work really hard in my life to stay out of blame. It’s a challenge but has made a huge difference in my life. If I stop looking “out there” to justify my life then it forces me to look inward. If I do my best and do what I say I’m going to do and most important apologize when I can’t then this life becomes a whole lot easier and clear. I just feel great and it’s moments like this that I get to see how far I have come. I am grateful for the opportunity to see and the opportunity to keep seeing.
Today, when you want to blame someone for something, try to hold back, try to see another way.
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