from here to there

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

Marianne Williamson

My biggest fear is not getting from here to there. The thing that worries me most is that I will never be able to fully express what is inside me. I write everyday so that I can keep uncovering myself but there is always a tiny fear judging my every move. I want to continue to write and then write a book, lead small groups to uncover their fears and be vessel for whatever else may come up in my life. I have never felt so in line with where I am yet so afraid of not getting there at the same time. It’s such a crazy feeling to be completely at peace with the direction in my life yet unable to see more than two steps ahead. I think this is where faith comes into play. I have to have it to get me through.

The funny thing about here to there is that it is all an illusion yet seems so real. We think in such a linear way, I have to get this to do that then I can be ---fill in the blank. This is so rooted in our thinking that even as write- I question my writing. I feel very emotional right now. It is scary to do something that is so close and dear to me that it makes me feel vulnerable. It is much easier to have a computer business and have this thing that is very separate from who I am. It is a great challenge to my mind to walk towards my passion. To my heart it is the most satisfying gift I have ever given myself.

I share this today because I need to keep myself aware of what I am feeling. I feel so full of insights and analogies which have helped many close to me and I want to share with more. I want to give. I know that life can be whatever you want it to be. I know that many people feel stuck or dealt a bad hand and I want to help you see a different way. I don’t think you can change your life without changing your mindset. We have opportunities everyday to peel away the many masks that we over time have put on ourselves to protect and shield us from pain. It is in the stillness and the vulnerability that you will find your silent strength. I believe that a sign of strength is standing in your own power not needing anyone to be or do anything for you. If you are completely content and ok with who you are then life will be a graceful dance with ebbs and flows that build your strength and teach you compassion. The more you resist in life, the more you are going to struggle. So today, I challenge you to enjoy being here with all its ups and downs.

Today I am grateful for Marianne being an amazing teacher and friend in my life.

Today I am grateful for Brenden for keeping me focused and free.