When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Earl Nightingale
If you and I are friends and I decide to try something different in my life, how do you react? What is it about change that affects the person not changing? I have seen and experienced many times in my life when someone gets upset about another’s change. It is very clear to me that it has nothing to do with the person who is changing. Change is uncomfortable for people who do not wish to change. If I change then it will make you think about what you aren’t changing. It’s a funny thing how its not even about me its about you.
I was having this conversation the other night with friends who decided to move in together and they are getting some resistance and judgment about this new venture in their lives. People are afraid of what they don’t know and if you change then that will affect my life. “I need you to stay the way you are so that it’s more comfortable for me” Yes it seems pretty selfish but I don’t think its intended that way. If people had better tools to communicate and better tools to understand why they feel what they feel then we could eliminate so much judgment. People judge because it’s easier to pick you apart then to look at what is happening over here. If I look at me and try to understand what I am going through, it could be scary or sad. If I focus on you then somehow I feel productive.
So today look in your life where you are the judger and where you are the judgee. Where you are making change and getting resistance, know that you are right where you are supposed to be. Where you are knocking someone else down….well just STOP IT. Stop putting your two cents in….be supportive of someone else’s growth and don’t give your opinion unless asked. And be sure that you are coming from a loving place. If you desire the best for everyone around you then you can let go of the details.
Today I am so grateful for my magic room. Yes I have a room dedicated to creativity and magic. Wish you a magical day today!
This is one of the best you've written (for me). Life is complicated enough to have so many judges in ones life. Its true, we need support rather than judges. We all make mistakes and bad decisions. Some turn out ok, some don't. And to be reminded of the ones that don't is hurtful. Thanks for your magical room. And thanks for this Aspiration.
ReplyDeleteSmile...We do judge ourselves everyday & others too!..Friendships are so easy and yet so complicated. Yep! We need to focus on our own journey and not others. Sometimes so hard to do. We really believe that we try to do what good friends do (BUT) sometimes we do focus on others and it's not mean't to be malicious its our own limitations...We are all limited but our journey is to grow! Such a challenge.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, change is uncomfortable, mostly when it changes a dynamic of daily life. Staying positive can be key and not falling into someone else's fears is essential.
So on that note, being the people who march on defying opinions - CHEERS - we are on the path to happy living because we can have it all whether in Carlsbad or Long Beach.....Great entry Ash we love you - thanks for the free therapy session.