tis the season

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness. James Thurber

Sometimes you just have to start at the beginning. It’s taking me a really long time to blog today. I have written complete entries only to stop and lose interest. I have been distracted and almost going to walk away and not have an entry today. And then I remember that this for me is my practice. Life (or ego) has a funny way of wanting to hurry us through processes. I can feel my own anxiety creeping up on me. So I stop and I breathe and I turn up my meditative music. I overpower the need to run and escape myself.

I was drawn to this quote because I was having a conversation about anger with my sister. I think it’s a great way to look at where anger resides, in the past. Yet we pull it into our present and live in it only to fear it for the future. Anger stops your growth in its tracks. Finding a way to express it and not put it on someone is the key. I feel it when it wells up in me and I want to scream. I see my struggle with it when I am frustrated and I don’t know another way I want to scream. I am learning how not to. I am able to put space between me and my reactions and sometimes make better decisions. This is what its all about, baby steps.

During the holiday season we experience so many emotions that sometimes we cant even decipher what is really going on. It’s a wonderful time of lights and song and people seem to be more kind. But then there’s this backside of expectation maybe sadness or even despair. So I just wanted to write about it and get you to think about what you want this holiday season to be about. I am asking that same question of myself. Lets look around in awareness. Lets take it all in. I want to enjoy the music and not get caught up in expectations. Tis the season to be merry. ;)

Today I am grateful for the time to write.