the sun through the cracks

Today is a good day. I walked through my fear yesterday and I survived. It's amazing how confronting it feels to do something that you are not used to doing. For me it's standing up for myself. There is something inside me that will immediately put myself in the wrong or bow down down to a stronger personality. I don't want the confrontation. But really I don't want to feel the pain of my own self doubt. I would rather walk away then challenge my own belief about myself. Yes it sounds sad, sad to write it down and sad to realize for myself that I give myself that little credit.



The good news is that I can write about it and reveal it. In writing I am able to see it in a way that empowers me. We are all connected and we all have struggles in our lives. And to bridge the gap from our own minds to the connectedness that is possible is so powerful. Just by speaking about the secret things that keep us anxious, distracted and off center, we are immediately released by the power these secrets hold.



It doesnt mean that any of this is easy. We have spent years building up these false truths about ourselves. It takes a commitment to love yourself in a way that you would love your own child. Just that alone to love ourselves in a way that we are precious and with flaws. It makes me feel peaceful to write it. It feels good to give myself that kind of space. I want to get better at how I treat me. I want to be more encouraging to myself and less critical.

In the sunlight everything seems possible. It's a gorgeous day and I am grateful for it. Today I am going to be kinder to myself. Today I believe that I can and that I deserve great things in my life.