So when you say good bye to fear, doubt, and worry it lends way for lots of fear, doubt and worry. Wow! what an amazing experience to get it so quickly. I say it yesterday and voila! I mean of course in the midst of it I am not thinking "this is an amazing experience right now- that I feel taken advantage of and am not getting money that is owed to me." No it hit me in my core and I got emotional and felt small. In that moment all I wanted was to hide. I was very fortunate to be on my way to get a massage when I got the information that took me to my dark abyss. It just reinforces that we are always taken care (thank you Jeff)
Anyway, while getting my "Korean" massage which must be noted because this type of massage is a body awakening. It's not a pampered fluffy listen to the soft music fall asleep massage. It's about feeling the pain and releasing it. So as I laid there in my pain, both emotional and physical I saw the opportunity for new growth. I felt something emerging in me that knew better.
Now of course when I woke up this morning I lost that picture. The picture I had when I woke up was bleak and full of worry. I was panicked and grasping at anything in mind to bring me back. Really, am I my own guinea pig. It's amazing how powerful my thoughts are and how in a moment I was ready to give it all up.
I'm very much in it right now but with a little more breathing room. I do know the truth and I am finding my way back. I know there will always be things to trigger me and divert my attention, and its the time it takes for me to get back to center. This is what I want to master in life. We will always have opportunities to grow. We can deny that or we can embrace it.
Today I am embracing what is and loving myself thru the pain. I am available for new opportunitues to arise.
The only thing that ultimately matters is this: Can I sense my essential Beingness, the I Am, in the background of my life at all times?
E Tolle
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